To be honest, I don’t know what having it all would be like. Of course it would be following Christ the way He wants. But I don’t know if it’s possible to be perfect. In fact scripture would disagree it’s possible to have no sin, I believe. So, having it all is perfect in our walk with God and receiving all the blessings He gives us. But we will inevitably reject Him and His blessings at some points in our lives.

I’ve talked about my dad before and our strained relationship. That being said, I have felt God laying on my heart to reconnect with him more and on more occasions. I have more problems with my stepmom’s bluntness and seeming desire to find faults in most things, but I do love them both. Just sometimes a little bit of them goes a long way because of differences in preferences. It’s sad, but I will be trying to have more of a relationship with them. God’s Word does say to honor your father and mother after all…

My phone, my Bible, my clothing, and my shoes. Those are the four things I hold most dear that I own. Also my computer as well, but I don’t use it as much as my smartphone. I am absolutely blessed by God to have what I do. God bless, and stay tuned!

So I started collecting Lego sets. Pretty cool really. I have a star wars one, and a Harry Potter one so far. I hope to decorate my future house with Legos someday. Sometimes it’s hard to put them together because of my depression, but I do collect Legos

Honestly, I don’t mind it most days. Cold weather is nice cause I can show off a new coat or jacket. I’m a fan of fashion. I’m not no fashion guru, but I don’t mind a nice coat or jacket. Cold weather also keeps the bugs away, and I don’t mind that at all. It’s when you get into snow and ice that I have a problem. I actually slipped last winter and got a concussion from my fall. Likewise, driving has been a pain in the snow and ice. All in all, I’d say I have mixed feelings towards cold weather. The cold itself I don’t mind, it’s the conditions that come with cold weather that I have a problem with.

I have not. I thought I broke my foot when I was a kid, this is because of the way a joint connects in my ankle, but I never have. Thankfully. I’ve heard it hurts really bad. Prayers go out to those of you who have broken anything or are currently dealing with a break

So, i just make certain to work 40 hours a week. That’s how i manage. I also practice anxiety reducing techniques such as prayer and things taught to me in counseling. Honestly, if you struggle with this, the book Letting Go of Worry by doctor Linda Mintle can really help provide a biblical framework for balancing concerns in all areas of life and not letting them become anxiety and worry. But yeah, I manage my hourly time spent. I also simply put work stuff out of mind when I’m not working. Christ centered meditation helps a lot too. God bless you all!

So what I’m about to talk about I’m not proud of. I had to sacrifice the depth of my relationship with my dad for the sake of my mental health. It’s about as much as it is me and my stepmom. More so because I don’t have a high stress tolerance unless I’m really into whatever is stressing me out, like ministry and video games. Perhaps I should be more into family? Ok, that’s a no brainer. I should be. It’s just that my dad has narcissistic traits and my stepmom is equally as manipulative and crass. Maybe some borderline traits with her? No idea on that one. I never dived deep enough on borderline or her past (or what parts of her past she’s told me that she’s stood by and didn’t gaslight me about). So I’m in the hospital, my dad tells me he’s working on a certificate in school. I’m out of the hospital for a year and that apparently never happened even though I have a clear memory about it and the staff even talked with me about it cause he told it to me on the phone. Likewise, he can’t even recognize me in a photograph from when I was a kid. He thinks I’m my brother in the photograph which also tells me he can’t recognize my brother either. My dad and stepmom frustrate me tremendously due to their insanity and my lack of ability to handle it. But don’t worry, I’m the only one with a problem. Not them. They just make excuses for their behavior. There’s a whole other story about how my family got broken up that varies depending on who’s telling it. I believe my mom’s side of the story cause of how much she has a head on her shoulders, but that’s a story for another day. The sacrifices I’ve made is spending time with my dad less, and having less deep conversations with him, to ensure I can keep the peace of The holy Spirit present in my life. I’m prone to fits of rage when i spend too much time with him. I really don’t like this fact since scripture also says to honor my father and mother, but how else am i going to avoid fits of rage when spending time with him when all the counseling in the past 20 years, including pastoral counseling, hasn’t helped our relationship? He’s stubborn as a mule and never needs to adjust himself. At least that’s how he used to be. I’m sure he’s done small stuff here and there, but the wounds that keeps us apart are very strong. While God’s intention is for families to stay together and prosper together, that can be very hard to realize. It’s not all doom and gloom though. He and I are going to work on my e-bike soon, so we will be able to bond over that. I don’t know sometimes. It’s hard. God bless and take care!

Yeah, so today the oldest things I’m wearing are my two socks. Today, metaphorically speaking as in the current era of my life, the oldest thing I’m wearing is my running shoes. So it’s not simply because I spend money on clothes (i really like clothes) that all my clothes are only a maximum of two years old. When my schizoaffective disorder flared up for the first time in my early twenties I had to be hospitalized for a year (yes a whole year). During that year I got on a medicine that makes it very hard to be as skinny as I was before I was hospitalized for my disability. So I had to get all new clothes because my old ones no longer fit. It’s really a tragic story of how far i fell into insanity before I got better, but that’s a story i hope to take to my grave to its fullest. I’ve shared it with my counselor to it’s fullest, but not with other people outside of my closest friends. But yeah, that’s the oldest clothing i wear. My socks