So I was recently diagnosed with PTSD. My diagnosis changed. I was severely abused growing up, and my biggest trauma was when I was 7. I was such a sweet and innocent kid prior to being sexually assaulted. I would love that back. God has plans for me and Truth and Grace Ministries, I know that. He will use my traumas for His glory, but gee is it hard to believe that. All I want to do sometimes is crawl in a whole and never come out. But I trust the Bible. It gives me hope. The Tanakh gives me hope. That being said, with my new medical marijuana card I should begin to feel better soon. Hopefully the numbness will end soon. Hopefully the fear and anxiety will end soon. Hopefully the dissociation will end soon. Hopefully the cold night sweats will end soon. Hopefully I’ll stop avoiding relationships that remind me of my traumas. Hopefully my anger will subside. Hopefully my flashbacks will subside. Maybe I’m placing too much hope in medical marijuana, but if it doesn’t help I still have God. I wish I didn’t have any of these symptoms